LIMBAUGH HOSPITALIZATION

Conservative Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was hospitalized early this morning from a nervous breakdown triggered when he discovered he actually agreed with President Obama on something.

Insiders say the rare intersection of agreement came when President Obama, in an off-handed comment, admitted to liking the occasional cigar.

“Limbaugh, a cigar afficianado, knew the President liked an occasional cigarette,” Conservative host Sean Hannity, whose talk show differs not one iota from Limbaugh’s on any issue, explained. “But when he discovered the president liked cigars… that was just too much.”

Limbaugh issued a press statement from his hospital bed:

“The Messiah has reached a new low in the Saul Alinsky ‘Rules For Radicals’ playbook. You see, this is what these liberals do. They try to make themselves come across as normal, blue collar guys, with their beer summits and cigar lounges. They get you to lower your guard, and when you do, they shove socialist style healthcare down your throat!”

“It was easy for Rush to disagree with Obama when he first came in to office,” Hannity explained, “with the $700 billion dollar porkulous that no one had time to read, cap-and-tax, and the GM takeover. But lately he’s been doing things that are hard to disagree with. He encouraged students to study hard in schools, and he wanted to make 9/11 a day of community service. But Rush found a way to disagree with these actions.”

In fact, Limbaugh pointed out that the prefix to the word ‘community’ in Obama’s 9/11 plan -- commun -- is also the prefix on the word ‘communism’. Limbaugh also pointed out that Obama’s speech was given to a socialist education system.

“You don’t see Obama giving speeches to encourage capitalist, free enterprise institutions like talk radio,” Limbaugh had announced earlier in the week.

Limbaugh was on the verge of being released this evening when he had a relapse triggered by the president admitting he had a sweet tooth for Cinnabons.